Doesn't Make Sense Till You're There

There are so many things in life that you can hear about over and over but that don't really sink in until you experience them yourself. I'm finding that particularly true in parenting.

I've often heard others talk about how hard it is to watch your child have their feelings hurt...but until this year, Adara really wasn't old enough to notice snubs or other remarks. This year she is, and I'm amazed at how my mother bear instinct makes me want to seize people and shake them about until they're nicer to her. She didn't have many playmates this winter as the last of the moms I was close to when we moved here left town just before Christmas, and Connor is really still too young to play with her. She's a very social, chatty, outgoing little girl (must get that from her Dad) and while she didn't complain, she missed having other kids to visit with. So now spring is here and she looks forward to going to the playground because there will (hopefully) be other kids there. But the problem is that this town is a 'clique' town; mothers go to the playground in their own little groups, and not only will they not talk to anyone else, their kids do the same.

It's remarkable how much it hurts to watch her run up to kids and greet them and try to play with them, only to be ignored, or dismissed with "You're too little" or "We don't know you". Today was a little better, there were two other girls her age that were playing together but let her play too. She was so happy afterwards.

She'll start playing soccer in a few weeks, and I think that will help. But I'm really hoping we can connect with some like-minded families in Calgary, so that there are a few children she can play with regularly. I don't want to place too much emphasis on having friends, as I think our culture has made a real mistake supplanting family ties with peer loyalties, but it would be nice to have a 'playdate' once or twice a week to look forward to.

I do recognize reality. I know that there will be mean, unfriendly and rude children everywhere, and that she has to learn that not everyone will be nice to her or want to talk to her. I wish I could shield her from that, but I know I can't. I just want her to have some positive experiences too. And I don't know how many positive experiences I can find for her here, with a small community that has (as far as I can tell) no homeschooling group, and virtually all of her peers in some kind of a preschool program. I'm glad we're moving.