Something I've Been Meaning to Say

I have a confession to make. It's been rolling around in the back of my head for weeks and I'm finally getting around to putting it down in words for y'all to read. Here it is:

I hate talking on the phone.

Hate it, not just like 'I hate onions in my scrambled eggs', but to the point that I get the shakes and feel desperately uncomfortable. I would rather clean toilets, change smelly diapers, or do just about anything else I can think of than talk on the phone. Except bungee-jumping - that scares me more. A little more.

It occurs to me that many of my friends and family members may have, in the past or at present, thought that it was just them. That I didn't want to talk to them on the phone, that I was avoiding them. That, worst case, I didn't care. It's not at all true. I've looked at the phone, even thought about calling. Then I quickly come up with something else to do so I can avoid it.

I asked Trevor about it, and he says that I've been that way ever since he got to know me. He says that while I've gotten better at impersonal business calls, I haven't changed much in the way of personal calls. Certainly I've been that way as long as I can remember.

If it were just a matter of hating the initial calling, and then enjoying the conversation, I could get over that, force myself to do it anyway. But it lasts the whole time, and I feel so ridiculously fake trying to sound natural and composed while my hands shake, my voice quavers and I restrain myself from running away. So I don't call. I email, I send cards, I try to find thoughtful gifts, I do whatever else I can, but I don't call. And I can't help but wonder how many people have misinterpreted that.

Now, would this post ever have been written if hormones weren't making me rather emotional? I'm not sure. But I do feel relieved for having written it.

Moose Jaw for New Years

We celebrated Christmas here with my Mom, and then headed down to Moose Jaw on the 30th for a gathering at Trevor's Dad and Carol's home. Joel and Jeannette came down on the 31st, and we had a belated Christmas on New Years Eve. It was great to see them all again, and the kids had fun soaking up all the attention. It all went well until...Trevor came down with the stomach flu at 3am on New Years day. You may remember the last time we got the stomach flu while travelling - it was in Moose Jaw as well. Hmmmm.

Anyhow, poor Trev lay about on New Years Day trying to gather his strength, and then about 6pm we put everything in the van and headed home. We left late because it had been a very long drive down due to road conditions, and we reasoned this way if it took longer it wouldn't bug the kids because they were sleeping. It wasn't a fun drive, lots of blowing snow and poor road conditions, but no one complained, and Trev slept better in his own bed once we got home. We were extra glad that we had driven home that night when the next morning, Adara started getting sick. It caught me last night, so I'm huddled on the couch today while Trev has taken the kidlets on an adventure somewhere. Con seems to be fine so far, I guess we'll see if that lasts or not.

I had one very special positive happen while in Moose Jaw: Trev's Dad mentioned casually that he was looking to get rid of all of his and Sharon's old photo albums. He's not much of a sentimentalist, and he kept a few small albums of pictures that were important to him, but he didn't want the rest. So I grabbed them!! We're going to buy a photo scanner, and I'll scan all of the old pictures in and hopefully someday be able to do them up nicely with notes and dates and stuff. I'm very excited to have this piece of Trevor's history to preserve for our kids and their kids.

Back to lying on the couch for me - going from Trev and Adara's recoveries, I should be feeling much better tomorrow.

Reason Found

So this obsessive need to get everything organized, simplified, all that? I think I've got it at least partly figured out. My new little ticker tells the tale - after 5 months of trying, we have a new little one on the way! Despite vicious morning/afternoon/evening sickness, I'm very excited, and so is the big T. Trev and I talked about waiting the traditional three months before telling anyone, but we wanted to share the news with close friends and family. Rejoice with us! Hurray!

We won't be telling the kids for a while yet - Connor won't care, and Adara will be too excited to wait another half a year. She's been praying for "another baby for Mommy and Daddy" for several months (and she often adds "or twins! or triplets!" at the end, which is kind of funny, but not really funny). She's going to be thrilled with the news. She just loves babies and toddlers.

As an ironically amusing side note, the Alberta government has finally seen the light and announced a little while ago that it was going to fund midwifery services. We were delighted, since we planned on having another child and this would save us about $3500. However, what we didn't see coming was that the small number of midwives in Alberta would be deluged with requests from expectant moms. I'm serious - here I am only 5 weeks along, and all of the midwife teams I've contacted are booked solid. *sigh* I'll keep trying, though, and I'm sure the Lord will lead me to the right people. I just never expected to have to compete so hard for a midwife!

One of the Busiest Weeks of the Year

I know this time of year is busy for everyone, but with our anniversary on the 16th and Connor's birthday on the 21st, it's been extra busy here! Here's a brief photo summary of some of the events of the week.

The Suncor children's Christmas party was on the 14th, and the kids had a blast. It was just right, lots to do but not too much, three inflated bouncy castles divided into age groups, and free gifts for all the boys and girls. The face painters were enormously talented; this was Adara's first time getting her face painted, and she looked awesome:


We finally got around to doing our annual gingerbread house on the 20th. Trev and Adara worked together and did a great job:


We didn't do too much for Connor's birthday, as he's really too little to understand the whole concept anyway. His biggest delight was the mylar birthday balloon, with the dessert of gingerbread cookies (he doesn't like cake much) and mango sorbet coming in a close second. This was his first time eating anything like ice cream (he's still lactose intolerant) and he loved it. He liked the presents too, even if he wasn't too sure why he was getting them. *grin*


We've gotten a few other things done too. Adara and I did up the gift bags of cookies for Trev's coworkers, which was fun. I've managed to get my papers sorted out, as well as my craft supplies. And I finished one of the two homemade gifts I had left to do - the other one will have to be finished in the New Year sometime, I've given up on finishing it on time. We'll be using some of Trevor's days off organizing what's left in the garage, and doing other odd jobs. I've figured out why I'm so driven to organize and simplify, but I'll go on at length about that another time.

Hard to believe tomorrow's Christmas Eve...for whatever reason, I haven't gotten into the spirit of the season much this year. Hope you have a great Christmas, wherever you are and whoever you're with.

Simplifying in All Respects

These days the urge to simplify has become even stronger. Not sure why, but I can't see a downside so I'm going with it. Anything that minimizes wasted time and effort must be good, yes?

I'm revamping my holiday planning for next year with a vengeance. No more doing things just because I've done them for years. No more wasting days making things for people who really don't need (or worse, won't appreciate) what I've made. I'm not saying I won't make things - I love crafts - but I will choose my recipients, and the number of recipients, much more carefully. No more fussing over things that just aren't important to Trev or I. And much more focus on what does matter. We started a Jesse tree tradition this year, and I'm liking it a lot. I've found a few other things I'd like to try next year that help us to focus on the Christ in Christmas.

I'm getting a digital scrapbooking program to do my albums with (my Christmas present from Trev) to cut down on the time it takes to scrapbook. This one hurt, as I really do love the paper part of scrapbooking. But I got painfully honest with myself and said 'Look, it's either you do it this way, or you're eventually going to get so far behind that you'll give up'. It's true. So I'm going to give digital scrapping a try and see if it helps.

I'm going through my craft supplies. If I can't see a good reason for using it, it's gone. I've got way too many odds and ends.

I recently picked up a set of clear boxes to go in our toy storage shelves. Sorting through the toys, colouring and art supplies, puzzles and all the rest is a good way to pick out all of the things that the kids don't like or don't use, as well as the occasional piece of junk that has crept in.

I'm reorganizing my papers. I got two more portable filing boxes, and will have one for all of our owner's manuals, one for old papers, and one for current papers.

It sounds crazy perhaps, but the more I do this kind of thing, the more content I feel. When we moved to Calgary I was overwhelmed by how much stuff we had. It seemed so excessive, especially since we've always liked to travel light. Hopefully all of these little efforts will help get us back to a healthier balance.

Not Entirely Heartless

I was determined this year to winnow down our Christmas stuff - only stuff we use and love, no extras. But today I came across a little box of ornaments from Trev and my very first Christmas together, just after our wedding and just before he left for Bosnia. We didn't have much money, so I'd gone to a little craft store that was having a big sale, got two dozen of the clear glass balls, and filled them with different glittery decorations. They looked so pretty to me...now of course, they look pretty cheesy. But I've never been able to throw them out, even if we haven't used them for years. This time I was determined to do it - again - until I looked in the box. Somehow they seem to embody all of those fragile hopes new couples have when they start their journey. And I know that, as long as I see that when I look at them, they're going to be shipped from house to house with us. 'Cause I'm just not that practical.

Making a List, Checking It Twice

Nope, no Saint Nick here, but the listmaker in me is at it's strongest during the holidays. Especially with our anniversary, Connor's birthday, and Christmas all within days of each other. So far?

Christmas newsletter printed? Check.
Christmas cards written, addressed, stamped, and ready? Check.
Christmas packages to Ontario ready? Check.
Christmas and birthday presents purchased for the kids? Check.

What's left? Let's see, there's the cookies to bake and package up for Trev's coworkers, two homemade presents to finish (thankfully they don't need to be sent, so I have some time yet), presents to wrap, the tree to put up, and a gingerbread house to assemble (as a family). Busy, but not overwhelming.

I'm also looking forward to seeing some of the many holiday sights around here. The Zoo does a big light display (Zoolights) which we've seen in the past and loved; Airdrie (a town just outside of Calgary) has a walk-through light display that's phenomenal and well worth the drive; downtown Calgary has a light display; and Heritage Park has an 'Old-Fashioned Christmas' setup where all of the old buildings are decorated, the little chapel has choirs singing, and there's sleigh rides and games for the kids. The Suncor kids' Christmas party is a week tomorrow, and that should be fun despite the heavy emphasis on the big guy in red. It's all going to go by so fast!